Thursday, March 11, 2010


I know this is to be my little part of the world of crafting, but sometime iguess you just need to let it out and vent a little bit. This week has just been terrible for me. I have atc's and inchies to work on along with some zen's, but I feel like I've run out of inspiration. I've looked at the wonderful pictures on Flickr and thought of some ideas, but when it came down to making them I'd just go blank.
My anxiety/depression has been taking it's toll on me this week, with work, with my house needing cleaned (mind you it's not a terrible wreck, I just can't seem to care as much as I should or have had in the past) With work...I just feel like I don't belong and it's been a battle for me for quite a while. To just feel accepted is hard for me to accomplish. They are nice people, but they have been together for longer than I have been with the company. And I always feel like I'm intruding or something that would be bad for them. So I have to try to clear my head of all that and try to focus on myself and how I can make myself relax alot more and refresh how I am a good person. Sad...isn't it? Just seems to never end with me. I may not be perfect, I may not know everything or give off the impression like that, but I am who I am....I am me. And there is nothing wrong with that. So why do I feel like I'm the fucked up one. The one who just doesn't cut it in life or with work or as a parent? I am not perfect and I'm not afraid to say so and I don't pretend to be perfect. I have a good sense of humor and I can laugh threw the tough and ultimate shitty times in life and I don't make others feel hesitant when they are near me. So why am I the one who feels crappy. All in all it just sucks.
Enough of that. I will get off my butt with my crafts and will get out of my little lull of not knowing what the heck to make and I will once again feel like the good person that I am. And continue to treat others with respect as I always have. Also, I will have pictures next time, I promise. :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

So here I am ...finally, huh? Sorry it took me a while to get to this. Been pretty busy here and not with just crafty stuff. Sometimes life just gets in the way and I really hate that, lol.

So let's see what I've been up to (some of it anyway, lol).
I went on a search for wallpaper sample books. Tried online and didn't have any luck so I tried our local Sherwin Williams paint store and was lucky to get 3 catalogs. I was so thrilled. =) I was kinda hoping for more since I had also stopped at Joann's and was told they didn't have anything like that for material, which i thought was kind of weird, but who knows someone else could have gotten to them sooner. But I know now where to go to. =)

I hope to get a hold of an end table to collage and decorate. I think it would be a lot of fun, plus I've never done it. I have a tall dresser that I may collage, but I'm still undecided.

I have also made this altered spoon. It's not the best, lol, but I'm getting a little better, lol. I have it hung on my purse and sofar a couple people have commented on it and i thought on person was going to ask if I would make her one, but I'm a little happy I wasn't asked, you know just in case I don't please her, lol.

I've been working on a lot of ATC's lately and I am so tired of not having a printer to use. We have 2 here one ran out of both kinds of ink and the other is out of black. =( And I feel like I'm not doing as good with my ATC's. What I'm going to do and Iguess I should have done before is try and see what I can print out and anything that is black and white, try to change that color. I've have received alot of ATC's that have been printed out (I think they have been anyway) and if they can do it, why can't I. Although I like putting more work into them also when I can. But I can always color the pictures and fancy them up some right? I had received a note of one of my ATC's being a clipping out of a magazine. Is that so wrong? Am I the only one who makes them like that? And how is that any different from using scrap book papers? I have to admit that, that had me a little bothered. I mean, just because they aren't 100% hand drawn or what have you, it doesn't make it a bad ATC, maybe something you yourself may not have made, but for others it's just the way they do it at time. I'm not going to fret over it, I'm just going to be the way I've always been about anything I receive, "relaxed." And enjoy what I do. Right? Right!

Now a little something I think I'm going to try for myself, to help me out emotionally and with my anxiety being an annoyance for me...a way to hopefully make me feel a little better about life and all, I'm going to start myself a journal. Nothing fancy or anything unless I end up going in that direction in time, but I'm going to start writing down what makes me happy everyday. Whether it has to do with my family or not. What I'm hoping is that I will relieve some of the anxiety I feel and the mixed emotions. It's been very hard without my brother in my life, but I need to try to find a way that will boost my spirits some. My crafts help, but I think I need something more. Something has got to work.

Well, until next time......