I know this is to be my little part of the world of crafting, but sometime iguess you just need to let it out and vent a little bit. This week has just been terrible for me. I have atc's and inchies to work on along with some zen's, but I feel like I've run out of inspiration. I've looked at the wonderful pictures on Flickr and thought of some ideas, but when it came down to making them I'd just go blank.
My anxiety/depression has been taking it's toll on me this week, with work, with my house needing cleaned (mind you it's not a terrible wreck, I just can't seem to care as much as I should or have had in the past) With work...I just feel like I don't belong and it's been a battle for me for quite a while. To just feel accepted is hard for me to accomplish. They are nice people, but they have been together for longer than I have been with the company. And I always feel like I'm intruding or something that would be bad for them. So I have to try to clear my head of all that and try to focus on myself and how I can make myself relax alot more and refresh how I am a good person. Sad...isn't it? Just seems to never end with me. I may not be perfect, I may not know everything or give off the impression like that, but I am who I am....I am me. And there is nothing wrong with that. So why do I feel like I'm the fucked up one. The one who just doesn't cut it in life or with work or as a parent? I am not perfect and I'm not afraid to say so and I don't pretend to be perfect. I have a good sense of humor and I can laugh threw the tough and ultimate shitty times in life and I don't make others feel hesitant when they are near me. So why am I the one who feels crappy. All in all it just sucks.
Anyway..........................
Enough of that. I will get off my butt with my crafts and will get out of my little lull of not knowing what the heck to make and I will once again feel like the good person that I am. And continue to treat others with respect as I always have. Also, I will have pictures next time, I promise. :)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I love you Patti ♥ Hang in there. You are accepted (just so you know, this chick thinks you're the bee's knees!)
ReplyDeletePatti - I'm sorry everything seems to be piling up for you right now. I know it's hard for me to feel creative and inspired when I'm not feeling like I have everything else in my life under control (how can I sit and craft when I have so much laundry to do, floors to vacuum, my kids are behind on their schoolwork, and my mom isn't feeling well?). I know what you mean about work too. When I worked full time, I had a great position in the company and was "appreciated" by my superiors, but since I don't smoke or drink (which equalled socializing after hours to them), I never really fit in, even after 6 years. They were nice enough to me, and they too were nice enough people, but I didn't know the little details of all their lives like they all knew of each other, and I just wasn't a part of their little world. You just need to draw on the fact that your two great kids and the man in your life are really what matter in your world and the work part is just extra. Those people will not be an important part of your life ten years from now, but those three at home will (and they'll love even more than they do today!)♥ Hang in there - it ALWAYS gets better (hey, I guess these days just be thankful you have a job if you want one, right? :D ). I hope next week is 10 times better than this one, and even better from then on... Sorry for the long rant from a stranger, your post just hit a note. I'm sending smiles and happy thoughts your way! ♥
ReplyDelete